I Can’t…um…Take It Anymore!

We’ve all sat through it - those meetings where the presenter says..um.. every..um....other..um..word. For me, I would rather listen to fingernails on a chalkboard than listen to half an hour of this kind of presentation. At times I want to stand up and scream “stop!”, but more than likely I may just leave (it’s hard to do this at work, but I definitely will do it at a conference. Life is too short). I am sure that the presenter doesn’t realize what they are doing and that if they did, they would try not to do so.

What are filler words? These are the words we use to fill in-between sentences or pauses in our sentences where our mouth catches up with our brain so as to not leave an empty space in the air. They are words like “um”, “ah”, “you know”, “so”, etc. Academics have a special word (they have a special word for everything, right? Arghh. See it’s hard to stop) for filler words, called dysfluencies.

Research has shown that a typical public speaker may use as many as 5 filler words per minute. That’s a lot of “ums”. This is bad because an audience wants to remain engaged. Too many filler words distract from your message and disengage the audience. It takes an audience more cognitive effort to filter out the filler words and get to the actual message.

Being able to remove filler words has beneficial effects. First, it makes you appear more professional. Think of politicians – you rarely hear a filler word. Or think of TED talks. You never hear a filler word there because the speakers have been trained so as to not use them. Although filler words give a chance for your brain to figure out what you are going to say next, a pause makes you appear more confident and in control of your speech. It’s calming. Most pauses are short, about a second in length, but some of the best public speakers will often pause for 2 to 3 seconds, maybe even longer, because the pause can emphasize a point, build suspense, or give the audience time to absorb what has been said.

How can you stop using these words? First, you have to be aware of it. I remember the first time I became aware of my use of “um” was after seeing a video of myself giving a presentation. I was horrified at how bad I was and realized I needed to make a change in my speaking patterns. Today, with smart phones, it’s easy to video or just simply do a voice recording of your yourself presenting. Listening to yourself speak can be a mind-blowing, self-awareness experience.

Stopping the use of filler words is like learning to break any bad habit. You have to make a conscious effort to not use them. It can be a bit disconcerting at first to pause between sentences and leave that empty space in the air. But in doing so, you actually give more

weight to each sentence as it allows your message the time to sink in with the listener. You could use more conditioned avoidance techniques if you are having a really hard time not using them. For instance, during practices, have someone in the audience use a clicker or snap a rubber band every time you use a filler word. As you get better and better there will be fewer and fewer clicks. If you don’t have someone to help you, you could do something yourself like tap your foot or tap your leg with your hand every time you use a filler work. This will serve as negative reinforcement for using too many filler words.

Then you need to practice. Practice, practice, practice at it. Stand in front of a mirror. Record yourself. Practice in the car. Practice at home. Practice. Over time you will get better and better at not using them. Trust me, once you make an effort to stop using filler words you become acutely aware of them, even, maybe especially, when other people use them.

You have to be careful though. Our filler words tend to become personal and they become our go-to words over and over. For instance, someone might say “like” for what seems like a million times in a presentation.

Once you train yourself not to use that filler word, you must be careful that you don’t start to use another filler word. Over time I have trained myself not to say “um”, but I recently listened to myself give a presentation at a local ISoP event and was shocked to discover that I started using another filler word, a different filler word – “right”. I was starting to end my sentences with the word “right.” Being diligent on the use of filler words should never stop. You should always try to remain cognizant of their use.

The occasional use of filler words is to be expected. About 1 per minute is ok. It’s human. It makes you relatable to the audience. It’s the over-reliance of filler words to the point where they become crutch words that causes problems. So do me a favor, if you see me in the audience with rubber band, don’t panic, but stop using filler words. Use pauses. Become a more polished public speaker. Me and the rest of the audience will thank you.