Boundaries

Now more than ever, with most of us working from home, the line between our home life and work life is blurred. We juggle our work deadlines, teach our children, and still try to maintain some semblance of pre-COVID normality. But even before all this happened the line between work and home was already blurred. We are in touch with the office at all hours of the day, answering emails late at night, we have early morning and late evening meetings, and even answer emails while on vacation. In the United States more than half of Americans do not use all of their paid vacation time and I would hazard to guess that this year number will be higher. Is it any wonder then why most people are more stressed than ever?

One thing that I have been telling my employees over the years is that they need to set boundaries. I have started to write in big letters on their whiteboards “BOUNDARIES” to remind them of this – they are not their job. Setting boundaries is important psychologically because it defines within you where work ends, and you begin. There is an adage about “do you work to live, or do you live to work?” As our work-life boundaries become more and more blurred, we shift from working to live towards living to work. Now more than ever it is important for us to know where is that line in the sand? Where is that boundary?

Setting boundaries is not just the responsibility of an employee; it’s also the responsibility of the company and the manager. I know from personal experience that some of my Japanese colleagues must never sleep because it doesn’t matter what time I send them an email, they promptly reply. Sending emails after-hours sends the message that you expect others around you to do the same, particularly if you are the manager.

Some companies, like Atos in France and Volkswagon in Germany, have taken the drastic step to turn off email servers after hours, or to delete all emails an employee receives while they are on holiday (Daimler, also in Germany). While this may work at companies that are predominantly in one geographic location, it may not work at companies that work in many countries. Nevertheless, if you have employees answering emails at 10 pm at night or on a Sunday afternoon when they should be enjoying their day off, you may want to see what is so important that they are doing that. That is something every manager can do.

What can you as an employee do to set boundaries? The first step is to know where your boundaries lie. Think about and set where your boundaries are. Maybe you are not going to answer emails on the weekend, calls after hours, or both while you are on holiday. Once you know where your line in the sand is, then you need to communicate this to your colleagues or clients. You can do this by setting up automatic messages, or by setting your office hours in your email signature line. Something like “I will be unavailable between 8 pm and 8 am CST to answering emails” clearly communicates your work hours.

Sometimes you will find that someone sends you an email in your dead zone hours and the next day says something snarky like “I tried to reach you last night, but you weren’t returning calls.” You can defuse this by calmly explaining that you are trying to be better about your work-life balance and that you are turning off all electronics between those hours. You

will be surprised how many people say something like “That’s a good idea. I should do that.” Things get a little more tricky when it’s your boss that is calling or emailing. It helps to talk to your boss beforehand and set your working boundaries. That way if they do call, then you know it’s important, and you should respond. Of course, if you are really good, you are not checking your email or are turning off your phone to begin with.

In setting up your boundaries with your manager, conduct an audit and let them know how much time is spent working after hours. This often helps in justifying why you are wanting to set boundaries. If your boss refuses your request, perhaps it’s time to re-examine whether this place of employment is best for you. Fortunately, we work in a field where there are plenty of jobs to go around.

Now you may be asking yourself, if I don’t do this work after-hours how am I going to get it done during work hours? I am simply too busy. Stephen Covey published the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. He talked about work quadrants setting up a 2  2 matrix with

Urgent (yes/no) and Important (yes/no) as the marginals. You would be surprised how much time we spend on Quadrant IV: Not Urgent/Not Important. He recommends dropping Quadrant IV activities and focusing on Quadrant I activities. If you haven’t read that book yet, you should.

You are not always going to be able to keep your boundaries, nor should you. We all know there will be times when extra work is required, e.g., submission time. But is that extra work needed all the time? Rarely. Also recognize that setting boundaries is not going to make everyone happy. The heck with them. You can never make everyone happy, even if you work after-hours. You can only make yourself happy. Setting boundaries will make you happier and shows that you care about yourself. As a manager I respect people that set boundaries because it shows me that they know the importance of a good work-life balance and that lack of boundaries is a leading cause of burnout. So, do yourself a favor. Examine how you work, set your boundaries, and make your life happier