Find Your Voice on the Telephone

I was taking a Webex recently with colleagues from Europe, Japan, and the US.  I was listening on my Bluetooth earpiece and watching the presentation on my iPhone.  It occurred to me how amazing technology was that I could have conversations with people on the other side of the world who sounded as if they were in the room next to me and I could watch the entire presentation on my phone, not a computer.  I’m not even sure we could have done such a presentation 10 years ago. Virtual technology is now so embedded in our society that Webex is a verb, like Google.

As the meeting started, the organizer asked who was on the line and everyone at once said their name. It was comical because this seems to happen in every teleconference I am in.  The organizer then method-ically went through the list, “Who was on the line from Japan?”, “Who was on the line from Europe?”, etc. This time we were able to understand everyone who was on the call.

After the presentation ended it was time for discussion. When I was first starting in industry I found this part of the meeting challenging because my mother taught me never to interrupt someone when they are talking. In teleconferences it’s not like people wait to hear what everyone has to say. There are no pauses in the conversation; people are simply too uncomfortable with silence on a teleconference.  If I waited for someone to finish their sentence before I started to say something, I would never get the chance to speak because some other person inevitably cuts off the speaker at the end of their sentence so they could say what they had to say.  Damn it, mom, you raised me to be too polite.

I am sure I am not the only person with this problem as I’ve seen it in others. Often there are people who just a lot more quieter than others in a meeting, even when you know they have something important they want to say.

They may be introverted, shy, or this may be some cultural behavior where you don’t interrupt or contradict a superior. So how do you speak and get your say on a teleconference?

Face to face conversation tends to have a natural flow to it, like tennis.  One person finishes their sentence, the other person starts. On a teleconference it is difficult to tell when to start talking because there are no body language cues that you can see for people speaking on the phone and nobody wants to be rude and interrupt.

Sometimes the only thing you can do in a teleconference is to learn how to be “politely pushy.”

Different cultures have different conversational norms. In some cultures it’s perfectly acceptable to cut someone off during a conversation. For example, Americans often complain the French are “rude” because they interrupt the conversation so much; it’s not that they are rude, they are simply expressing their interest in the conversation, which is perfectly acceptable in their culture (1). If you are uncertain what to do or how to interrupt, follow the lead of others in the room, but be wary of those individuals that dominate a meeting simply because that is who they are.

If you are uncomfortable interrupting you may consider a breaker or other disclaimer. Examples include:

• “This is Pete. Have you considered…”,

•   “Excuse me.  Have you considered…”

• “Could I interrupt for a moment. Have you considered…”, or

• “Steve, sorry to interrupt, but have you considered…”

Disclaimers make you feel more secure about what you are going to say and are more polite than simple interruptions.

When you do interrupt make sure what you have to say is worth saying and say it in a manner that is understood by everyone. Not only does this mean say what you have so say concisely but speak so that everyone can understand you. Remember you are on a telephone.

And if you are the one being interrupted recognize that this is not personal; it’s often the only way for someone to get a point across. If you must finish your thought consider saying something like “I have only one more thing to add, but go ahead” and when they are done you can finish what you were going to say.

Another useful trick if you are on a teleconference by yourself is to stand up and speak. Even though you might be sitting at a desk, standing up will give you greater energy and when you do speak you will sound more authoritarian.

There are times when interrupting during a conference call is necessary. Learning to do it effectively is somewhat of an art. You don’t want to be that rude person that cuts everyone off to get their say, even though that is exactly what you are doing. Read the room for the degree of interruptions and how to do it efficiently. When you do speak, learn to do so concisely and in a manner that is understandable, confident, and clear. If done correctly, your mom won’t mind if you do.

(1) Carroll R. Cultural Misunder-standings: The French-American Experience. University of Chicago Press, Chicago, 1988.